Family First... Peace and Joy

 

The world just lost one of the great ones!  Steve's father, Larry "Pardner" Gardanier graduated from this life yesterday.

Last week we returned to Phoenix Arizona to visit Steve's father (Larry "Pardner"), who was recently diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. He had been declining rapidly and we knew his time was short. Knowing this would likely be our last time with him, we struggled to know what to say and even how to feel. We know we will all die at some point… but not him…not now. Elder Uchtdorf explained these mixed feelings when he said:

“There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this?

Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our Destiny.”

Our time in Arizona was a sacred time when Steve's entire family (minus one sweet missionary son in the Philippines) gathered together to serve and celebrate this great man. Although saying goodbye may not be a 'happy' occasion, we were blessed to feel peace and joy. We testify that it is only by focusing on our savior Jesus Christ that we can feel a lasting peace and joy. In our prophet's words:

"Just as the Savior offers peace that “passeth all understanding,” He also offers an intensity, depth, and breadth of joy that defy human logic or mortal comprehension. For example, it doesn’t seem possible to feel joy when your child suffers with an incurable illness or when you lose your job or when your spouse betrays you. Yet that is precisely the joy the Savior offers. His joy is constant, assuring us that our “afflictions shall be but a small moment” and be consecrated to our gain."

It was especially sweet to see Steve's mom patiently and lovingly take care of her companion of over 55 years. President Nelson has said, "Real love is not measured in terms of moonlight and roses, but in terms of who will care for you when you are old."  It is evident that the love Steve's parents have for each other is strong and eternal.

We are so grateful for the flexibility given to senior missionaries to return home on occasion as needed. When we first asked our mission president about the possibility of returning home, he quickly said, "Absolutely! Family First!"

Invitation:

- Give your loved ones a giant hug and let them know how much you love them!

- Read the prophet's talk "Joy and Spiritual Survival"

- Listen to some Neil Diamond or Gene Autry music in honor of Pardner

It was a special experience when Steve and his brothers were able to give their father one last blessing. It was a full circle moment to use the priesthood he had given each of his boys to bless him.

"You can pretend to care, but you can't pretend to show up." Being able to be there in-person for moments like this is exactly what Steve needed.

Steve was able to take his dad to his final chemo appointment. Steve wondered if Larry wore sunglasses as a disguise in hopes of being skipped over. 

It was a sweet tender mercy to have 5 of the nurses helping Steve's dad this past week from the Philippines where our son Ryan is currently serving a mission. As they shared stories about the Philippines we felt our son right there with us.

Definitely the most special and emotional haircut Laura has given since being on her mission

During our weekly call with our son Ryan in the Philippines he was able to FaceTime for a few minutes with his grandpa. We were amazed at how quickly Steve's dad was able to perk up and crack witty jokes 

We were so impressed with the patience, kindness and positive attitude of Steve's dad during this difficult time. He was a great example of the character of Christ as he thought of others over himself.

Not wanting to say goodbye, we debated if we should change our flight to a later date. With a broken voice, Steve's mom looked us in the eyes and said firmly, "You have accomplished what you needed to here. Now, you get on that flight." Steve gave one last hug and goodbye to his hero.

During our visit we took a ride with Steve's brother Jeff in one of the self-driving Waymo cars in Arizona. It was both exciting and scary to be zipping around the streets with no one sitting in the driver's seat. 

Thanks to the kindness of Frost Orthodontics in Mesa Arizona, we were able to get a quick mid-mission tuneup on our retainers.

As part of our travel to Phoenix we had a short layover in Salt Lake City. It was surreal to be so close to home and not be able to visit it.  It was also very emotional to watch missionaries return home through those doors behind us to their excited families.

A definite blessing was having these 4 perfect little humans scatter sunshine everywhere